God knows what is wrong with people. It seems to me that nobody cares.
No, you know what. It's like one person after another who tries to dramatize every single second of your life. So why don't you people just stop drowning me and let go. Get the hell away from me, alright? Because you know what? Sooner or later you'll all get sick and tired of doing your same crap..to the same fucking person..every single time!
Damnit what the hell is wrong with you people!? Look all of you "brilliant" people, a word of advice. I'm not a little kid anymore. Don't tell me what to do with my life nor try to control it. You are not my mother or my father. Rather I can do whatever the hell I want with or without them. So listen, don't start it with me with your verbal lectures. Thank you. Yeah, really, thank you..for those incredible headaches. Try Greek. Then I can just sit there not knowing a word you're saying, pretending to understand, and maybe not to think and deal so much. That would be great, wouldn't it?? Yeah, a whole lot better for me, a lot less trouble for you. Don't you people get it? Your advices, everything, they're great..honestly. But those same advices dont work all the time no matter how great they are. When things happen, they happen. What can I do when it's already done? I live a quarter of my life by a quote. "There's always a light no matter where you are." Can you imagine, that there are various meanings to that small quote? There is. It goes for everybody..and even those people who dramatize MY life, will definitely see it. I know what to expect..and don't get too bored dealing with me. I don't doubt you will. You're wasting your time, especially on me. The truth..it hurts buddy. Right, so get immune to it. Get lives. I almost wasted mine. Don't waste yours.


Just..let go already people.

hi.

her: jesse....
me: ...you're talking to me..?
her: ..why not..?
me: you hate me.
her: i don't hate you...
me: if only that wasn't a lie.

but i still miss her..

what if i never existed in this world.
what if nobody knew about me.
what if this is the last time you ever hear from me.
what if there's nothing but a great blood bath waiting.
really, what if? what would you people do?

i guess it should be time to let go..? or should i..
i loved you. i really did. because of you, i was still there.
but now you're gone...i'm gone too..
it's time for me to leave this world..it was fun while it lasted.
the memories i'll swallow, let it flow with my ashes..
i'll let the pain and insanity drain with my blood.
i wish i could say those three small words one last time..

nobody will be able to hear my muffled screams.
it's okay..don't cry. you'll never have to hear from me again.

and for my last edit...
to my first wife, the one i truly loved,
go to our secret place. get the key to the gate. there's something i burried a long time ago under the big tree. a box i've never told you about. go on, dig it up..see what's inside. i have just one thing in there...a part of me i'll leave to you.

goodbye..be happy.


r.i.p ....me.